Thursday, January 1, 2015
The State of my Current Crazy via Middle Places
Two weeks ago, I wrote about hiding from God. To do that, I avoided the stillness and silence I normally run to. I talked a lot, but I didn’t listen. The longer that went on, the more fear and dread clawed out from inside my ribcage.
The truth is I am terrified.
Part of that was my previously confessed fear of being asked to sacrifice my dreams. But that's only the tip of the iceberg lettuce. Keep peeling back leaves and you’ll find me anxious about everything from car wrecks to cancer.
I don’t get behind the wheel without wondering if I’ll crash and die. Out of the corner of my eye, I see phantom children in the street. What if I hit someone with my car?
A pimple? A pain? A headache? What if I have cancer? What if it’s growing in me right now?
The intrusive thoughts are many and varied, covering every member of my family and every friend. They form a patchwork quilt of horror I cling to in the cold. But it only makes me colder.
Keep peeling leaf after leaf after leaf and finally you find the center…
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