Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Currently: The Livelong June

Current Books: I just finished We End in Joy and Holy Ghost Girl. Now I am reading The Gunslinger. The boys and I have almost finished Hoot and 100 Best Loved Poems. I am about halfway through The Nootka Rose. What can I say? I'm eclectic.

Current Playlist: In the car, we are listening to The Looking Glass Wars. We're all loving it.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Watching Torchwood and playing Candy Crush.

Current Colors: I'm really loving soft worn colors right now.

Current Fetish: Firefly

Current Food: Baby spinach

Current Drink: Coffee and water

Current Favorite Favorite: Vacation Bible School, where my kids are happily occupied while I write/design in peace

Current Wishlist: Summer clothes, a massage

Current Needs: retreat and a computer (Mac) for homeschool

Current Triumph: I'm at the end of a first draft, so 500 words is a triumph right now. I miss 2000 word days.

Current Bane-of-my-Existence: Pain. Almost continuous pain for the last month. It is taking a toll on my spirit. I am feeling very sympathetic toward friends and family with Fibro and Lupus.

Current Indulgence: I did a bit of Target shopping while we were in Jackson.

Current Mood: Pretty stable. My motivation level is pretty much null, but I am not unhappy.

Current #1 Blessing: My husband. He inspires me. He graduated seminary Magna Cum Laude, lost 35 pounds and was just officially commissioned by the UMC.

Current Outfit: Ankle-length skirt, Kentucky basketball tee, flip-flops

Current Links: My friend Stephanie's blog

Current Quote“You can't spend so much time in a place and not carry a bit of it inside you.” 
― Frank BeddorThe Looking Glass Wars

Current Photo

Title taken from "I'm Nobody" by Emily Dickinson

Friday, June 7, 2013

Nattie's Friday Felicities

Friday Felicities - The Nattie Edition

How she listened to audio books on her iPod. I do that too now.
The way she loved Jesus full
When her kids made "cakes"
How generous she was, even when she had so little for herself
Her updates from library computers
Her joy in snow
The pink pajamas and scarf I last saw her wearing
How hard she loved Wes, even when it hurt like hell
The bookmark girl she made for me
Her grateful heart even in the face of bad and worse
The notes she wrote to A and J from the hospital
Her hobbit apartment, filled with books
How we shared a story start, though not an ending
That she showed me Asperger's is survivable
Her sweet sweet spirit
That she was always rereading favorites
She coached Anna's soccer team.
How much she worked to be involved at her church
How her church family loved and cared for her
That she adored her parents and always said so
She struggled in many of the same ways I struggle.
She was real and beautiful and smart and funny and so full of Jesus, He simply overflowed from her.

Monday, June 3, 2013

I Wish You Could Everything

Um, okay, why am I so icky inside this week?


It's Nattie Week. Friday, I don the tiara and celebrate her heaven birthday. Each year is the tiniest sliver of a bit easier but this ugly feeling never goes entirely away. This "Why her?" screaming turns to Why Me pity all too easily. Nattie wouldn't want that.

I love you Nattie-Pie. I miss you. I sort of want to punch God in the face for taking you away from us.

Six years.

How is that even possible?

I still don't care for talk of Heaven. My mind cannot grasp it. It doesn't make me feel better. 

I leave books in bathroom stalls. I write your blog address inside the covers. I want to spread the bookish Nattie love. I think you'd like that.

I wish I could see your kids grow up. 

I wish YOU could see your kids grow up.

I wish you could...


I wish you could everything.

I love you.

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