Tuesday, March 8, 2011

This is the Life

The lovely L L Barkat says I need to do some stream-of-consciousness type writing this week.  Well, she wrote that in God in the Yard, and I am thinking it might not be a bad idea.  I have not done this sort of blogging in quite a while.  The reasons for that are many.  

I am homeschooling Haydn.  This is time-consuming, as you can imagine.  Still, that alone would not keep me from blogging regularly.  But, when you add my 2-day-a-week job at the bookstore, I am, essentially, without a day off.  I am dropping to every other Saturday (keeping all Fridays), so hopefully that will relieve a small amount of pressure.  It isn't that the job is difficult.  Not at all.  I enjoy it.  I get to play with books all day and talk about books and sell people books and order new books.  Books. Books. Books.  Love the books.  No, it is just about time.  I have gone from alone time while the kids are in school and weekends with family or friends to spending all day, every day, with Haydn or at work or with both kids.  For a poet-girl who thrives on solitude and contemplation, this is culture-shock at its finest.  

On top of that, much of what is going on in our lives has not been bloggable.  Not because it is secret.  Rather, it changes from day to day and I have not had any concrete images or words to share here.  Now, I have one phrase to share.  Tourette Syndrome.  I am still learning what these words mean to us and how they will shape our lives, so there is not much else to write on that topic.  I will though.  You know me; I believe in living a transparent life.  Maybe someone else can learn from my mistakes or benefit from my lessons.  

We are prepping for Spring Break.  I cannot wait to get to SC and cuddle my new baby niece, Eliza Jane.  I am so stinking proud of my sister.  She has grown up to be a truly amazing woman.  *sniffle*  I get to stop on the way home and hang out with Cheri for a bit.  I always look forward to that.  

Right now, Haydn is writing sentences using the verb "will."  Writing frustrates him to no end, so we do not do a lot of it.  He types his journal.  We are about to start cursive.  His therapist says that will be easier on him.  He is pausing here and there to tell me how he wants to spend the summer with his Grams and Pawpaw and fish all day long.  

I am reading my Bible everyday.  I always feel more grounded when I manage that one discipline.  I finished the first 4 OT books and am breaking from that for a Lenten stint in Matthew.  I am also reading Matthew to Haydn for our Bible time each week.  And, I am being convicted, a lot, about my own insatiable desires.  This comes up because my kids are constantly asking for things, wishing for things, telling me everything they want.  It frustrates me. I may have just offered to buy David a new book and he will be begging me for a cookie from the snack bar before we can get to the cash register.  As deeply as this discontented/ungrateful attitude hurts me when I see it in my children, it hurts me even more that I see it modeled in myself.  How often do I move right past the blessings rained upon me and jump to how badly I want a Macbook or a new pair of Seven jeans or that ever-illusive trip to Israel?  I list my gifts each day, but I could just as easily keep a list of wants right beside it.  

So, there I am.  Here we are.  This is the life.

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