Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Stop

I had a strange experience this morning.  Rather, it would seem strange to most.  I no longer find these events odd.  They have happened just often enough to not totally surprise me anymore.  This time, it was a bit stranger than usual though, because I still do not understand the purpose for it.

I woke up suddenly and thought, "Go for a walk."  My next thought was, "It is still dark outside."  It wasn't though.  Gray light filtered through the filmy curtains of my childhood bedroom.  I pulled on my blue jeans from yesterday and grabbed my sweater from where I dropped it on the floor.  No tennis shoes available, I slipped on gold Toms and walked out the door.  No iPod to listen to.  No book to read.  Just me and the street where I lived from 13 to 18.  

The air was cool, so I walked with my arms folded around my middle.  For the first few yards, my mind was racing, debating the reasons God may have brought me out.  Then, I began reciting the Lord's Prayer.  This is often how I calm my mind.  The prayer has been repeated so many times in my head and by my lips that I can almost breathe it without thinking.  So, I prayed the words Jesus gave us and walked.  Thoughts tumbled through my brain, background to the prayer.

When I reached the end of Roberts Road, I stopped and stared at the stop sign.  I examined the reflective stripes you can only see when standing mere inches from its surface. I wondered if God brought me out to tell me to stop something in my life.  Then I turned and walked away.  Five feet, tops, and I found myself doing a 180 to stare at the stop sign again.  More walking, more turning, more staring.  Then, continuing to walk but looking over my shoulder to glimpse the red sign.  Without glasses, it was no more than a bright blur of metal.  

I moved off the road when cars passed.  I half expected one to hit me, as though my mad rush to walk this morning could have been an appointment with fate, my own death.  No cars hit me though.  I wondered if I would come across an accident and be able to help or pray with someone.  Nope.  I saw no people at all, except the ones who drove past me.  The only animal I passed was a flat dead frog and a cat in Wayne Nutt's front window. 

Returning home, to Mom's house, my boys were awake and worried because they could not find me.  I hugged them and explained my absence.  Then, I sat down to read my Bible.  I am reading a daily chapter in Matthew for Lent.  After 4 OT books, I was in need of some straight-up gospel Jesus.  I wondered if today's chapter would explain my walk and the stop sign.  Nope.  If there was a message there, I missed it.

Not sure why I am even sharing this, except to say I am glad I obeyed Him and walked this morning.  I don't see the point in the exercise, but God works in mysterious ways. I trust He had His reasons for calling me out today.  Maybe He will eventually share that with me, and maybe He won't.

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