Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hope in my Hope

I was thinking, this morning, as I got ready for prayer at Jennifer's cottage, about the order in which most people shower. We wash our hair first, right? This just makes sense to me. See, if I wash my body first, when I wash my hair all of the dirty water I rinse out will run down my clean body. So, I wash the top of me first and then the bottom. How like God. He starts with our insides and works his way out. Why? Because, if He just cleaned up the outside, our thoughts and desires would continue to dirty us.

I am reminded of a passage in Matthew. This is a verse I hope never to hear directed at me by Jesus:

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like
whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are
full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. (Matthew 23:27)

As any woman, I sometimes get caught up in being critical of the way I look. But as I read this, I realize that no amount of outer perfection can make up for inner depravity. I can keep my hair expertly styled and wear masks of make-up. I can get regular manicures and pedicures. I can buy designer clothes and drive an expensive car. I could live in a big house in a fancy neighborhood. I could dress my kids in name brand labels. I could teach Sunday School and talk about how good God is and what the Bible says on this or that issue. But, as soon as I was left alone with my thoughts, I would find myself empty of the Spirit. I would still be a container for broken pieces.

I am choosing to do this thing God's way. Over the years, He has been healing all of the broken pieces and cleaning me on the inside. I have weathered the storms of Post Partum Depression and walked out the other side, stronger for my battles. I am a different person now than I was when He first started working on me. And we still have a long way to go together.

This morning, Jennifer read a devotion to transition us into prayer. In it, Jesus tells us we are continually being released to be the people He created us to be. I don't have to hide who I am or who I have been. I can choose to live a transparent life, in hopes that someone else will find hope from my hope and comfort in my comfort.

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