Tuesday, March 3, 2009

No Books - Day 5

Ah, well, I slept a lot yesterday. Easy to not read when you are asleep. The weekend drained me. That, and I kept thinking it was all a dream. So surreal. To go to Deb's memorial service last night, to sit in the sanctuary where I had sat WITH her only days earlier. Not even a week passed between sharing a pew for Ash Wednesday and trying to find a pew to sit in for saying goodbye.

The church was packed. Standing room only in the sanctuary with our giant fellowship hall open for overflow. We showed the service on screens in there and on TVs throughout the buildings. For three hours of visitation, the line never got shorter. And after the service, there were more people and more food and more visiting. I think Deb knew and was loved by everyone in Tupelo and then some. By the end of the evening, I had removed my uncomfortable high heels. Deb wouldn't have wanted me to suffer. Heck, Wes (her husband) had on blue jeans. I wanted to wear them too. That seemed the Debbie thing to do, but when your husband is in a suit and tie, you just can't get away with denim.

The youth choir sang, filling the choir loft with joyful music that would have made Deb happy. Corey spoke on "Why these things happen." Raigan spoke to the family from the point of view of a mother, what she would want to leave with them. That is when I boohoo-ed. Andy spoke on Deb's life, more, and on her volunteerism. Jimmy spoke on the community of Christ. Amazingly, it was a short service, even with 4 preachers. I was blessed to meet Debbie's mom, after the service. And Debbie's daughter. My heart is heaviest for her. I cannot imagine having my first child without my mama. When Haydn was born, Mom was 6 and a half hours away. I was a miserable wreck and Corey had to drive me to SC in the middle of the night for Mother's Day. I burned up the roads between Opelika, AL and Columbia, SC. I cannot fathom Mom being in HEAVEN. That is more than a day trip. And I was so depressed back then, I may have been tempted to go after her. So, it is Lynn I am praying for the hardest. I have a feeling she will be fine though. I mean, look who raised her, after all.

This entry has had pretty much nothing to do with books. I will say, somehow, I am still behind on my Esther study and my housework, despite not reading at all. My guess is that this is because I have felt like doing absolutely nothing but sleeping and mourning. Maybe the week will begin to look up, with some sense of closure coming after the memorial service.

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