In the meantime, with or without a flying vehicle, it is time to face the year that lies before me.
God gave me my theme on the first week of Advent. I was not looking for it. I was sitting in service, listening to Raigan teach on "Breaking Through." She talked about Isaiah praying for God to "Rend the heavens and come down." It was a powerful message to my very tender and confused heart. The past month has involved a struggle with my medications and whether or not I am taking the right ones, etc... Actually, the past two months have been a medical mess. So, there I sat, holding this piece of white linen. We were told to pray over the scrap of cloth and ask God to reveal something to us. I believe we were asking what He wants of us, right now. My boys sat on either side of me, and Corey had his linen square as well. I clearly heard the word...
I cringed. If anyone was watching, they must have thought I heard God say he wanted me to sacrifice my first born or something. Honestly, I would rather pray for just about anything except patience.
Patience? Please, no.
If I pray for patience, God will.... teach me to be patient. I don't WANT to learn to be patient. I'd like God to deliver a pretty box wrapped with a bow. I would open that box and suddenly be filled with infinite patience. I know God doesn't work that way. I know I will have to learn patience. The whole prospect scares me. But, there I sat, staring at my white cloth, glaring at my white cloth. I tore it down the middle and stood, walking down the aisle to lay one half of the cloth in a manger. The other half is still in my purse.
Patience it is.
I have two verses to go with this theme. The first has kept popping up, and I have now taped it to my bathroom mirror on an index card. It is, to me, a promise of what God is doing while I am learning patience.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am
making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19
The second verse appeared to me on a t-shirt, of all places, and will be my constant reminder of why I should be able to have patience, how my God will sustain me as I wait.
The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden,like a
spring whose waters never fail. - Isaiah 58:11
It is no surprise to me that both are from Isaiah. He is one of my favorite prophets, only rivaled by Hosea, and it was his own fervent prayers for God to "rend the heavens and come down" or "get on with it already" that brought my heart to an open place, where I could recieve this year's theme.
I have a song for the year, as well, but that is for another post. For now, as you are walking through 2009, say a prayer for me. I could use a side of mercy with my patience.