Thursday, September 20, 2007

13 Quotes from A Lovely Book

I have not been able to write a review for Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd, because the book is so overwhelming in so many ways. For the Thursday Thirteen, I posted 13 quotes from the book over on my main blog, and I will post 13 more quotes here.

13 Quotes from a Lovely Book

  1. My experience was teaching me the truth of Nelle Morton’s words that there is an “awful abyss that occurs after the shattering, and before the new reality appears.”
  2. A marriage or any relationship between partners is meant to be created and then re-created. It is an edifice a couple builds until the day the edifice can no longer hold them and they must bring it down and start again from scratch. And without any of the old assumptions. It’s exactly like Carolyn Heilbrun says, all good marriages are remarriages.
  3. I had wrung open all the cages inside and set myself free. Is there a feeling more gleeful than opening a cage and setting something captured free?
  4. I believe most women have inside us one of those figures who goes around laying discreet traps, trying to cage, restrict, and drown the spirited, natural parts of us, the parts that go leaping through life. And it is a good thing, a holy thing even, to circle around by stealth, if necessary, and set them free again.
  5. …benevolent patriarchy is still patriarchy.
  6. The only way I have ever understood, broken free, emerged, healed, forgiven, flourished, and grown powerful is by asking the hardest questions and then living into the answers through opening up to my own terror and transmuting it into creativity. I have gotten nowhere by retreating into hand-me-down sureties or resisting the tensions that truth ignited.
  7. Bringing forth a true, instinctual, powerful woman who is rooted in her own feminine center, who honors the sacredness of the feminine, and who speaks the feminine language of her own soul is never easy. Neither is it always welcomed. I discovered that few people will rush over to tie a big pink bow on your mailbox.
  8. I’d pursued a spiritual journey of depth and meaning, but – and this was the big realization for me – I’d done so safely within the circle of Christian orthodoxy. I would no more have veered out of that circle than a child would have purposely drawn outside the lines in her coloring book.
  9. I spoke at Christian conferences, in churches. As a result, it seemed people expected me to be a certain way. Of course, I expected me to be a certain way, too.
  10. Before October, I would have denied it vehemently, as we are apt to do when something true is unconscious to us.
  11. Men need to become aware, but blaming them doesn’t help. It only polarizes.
  12. Very often silence becomes the female drug of choice.
  13. According to the attitude that sprang up, women could not be both holy and sexual. And as celibacy became a spiritual ideal in Christianity, men were more and more cast as spiritual and women as sexual. Woman’s role was seen as the temptress, the femme fatale, who lured “good” men into the evils of flesh.


  1. Great post

    my 13 is up on
    working at home mom.

  2. Hmmm...was the name "A Lovely Book" or what you thought about it?

  3. "Men need to become aware, but blaming them doesn’t help. It only polarizes."

    This is so important to bear in mind. Attack generally results in defense, and real dialogue will be impossible when one party attacks, and the other defends. The other quote about silence being women's drug of choice is so important in relation to gender dialogue. Now that more and more women are finding their voices, it's not surprising that there is a period of finger-pointing and attempts to reclaim a previous status quo. But as men stop and listen, women's voices will be heard. It's inevitable.

    Great Thursday Thirteen.


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