Never have to Mop the Floor Again

Y'all know I love a good parody. I listen to Harry Potter parodies on youtube when I need cheering up. I have written new words to the tune of It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas and This is How We Do It (Montel Jordan). Recently, I was mopping the floor and heard a tune in my head. That tune became, for me, eternally linked to mopping my floor, so I wrote new words for Again by Janet Jackson.

I dreamt of a maid today,

how she'd come to clean my house.

Suddenly the ecstasy

overwhelmed me in my mind.

One day she'll come, I told myself.

One day a week, I've said,

and I'll never have to mop the floor again.

The dirty floor will fade,

if I could have a maid.

Clean intentions I have daily,

but I fail at it.

I come from a home so clean,

and God knows how I've tried.

I don't want my house a dump.

I'd like it neat for friends.

Seeing it shine would

feel so good

oh so right.

One day a maid will come, I told myself.

One day a week, I've said,

and I'll never have to mop 

the floor again.

So here I am cleaning again.

Little feet make it look like this.

"Please take off your shoes.

I just mopped," I hiss.

I've worked too hard at scrubbing this

to have it caked with clay.

I cannot afford a way

to never mop again.

So early in the week,

and my vacuum is in my hands.

Don't stand there and then tell me

you won't do it again,

'cause now I have to

mop the floor again.

Help me, help me,

before running across my floor.

Please hear me out this time;

so long as I live,

God knows I'll have to

mop the floor again.

Life, Zapped

 

In my life this week... Corey was out of town. I didn't mention that here or on Twitter, because I don't feel comfortable announcing to the world that I am home alone. I do fine during the day, but I don't sleep well when he isn't here. I need him at least inside the house, if not in the bed. Alone at night, I hear every sound the house makes. I heard Haydn tossing and turning in the nylon tent he currently insisted on sleeping in. He has a comfy bed, but he chooses his tent on the floor. Go figure.

In our homeschool this week... we were mostly off. My youngest son is in public school, and he went with his dad on the Senior trip. Haydn and I stayed home (Haydn got to go on a similar trip over Spring Break when he was 7, as David is now). We played the "zapped" version of Life, which I received for review from the Amazon Vine program. We had fun with that, though I still cannot get the sound to work. We rented The Adventures of Tin Tin and watched half of The White Lion. We went to co-op, and that is always fun.

Places we're going and people we're seeing... We did the monthly grocery trip, covering Sam's Club and Walmart. Haydn had his regular therapy appointments. Yesterday, we had Co-op, where I teach essay writing to the teens and help with their book club. Haydn takes a Young Peacemaker's class, is reading Charlotte's Web with his book club and then learns sign language for an hour before lunch. We all spent the afternoon at the park together, after classes are finished. I look forward to that all week.

My favorite thing this week was... I received two more requests for pages. No agent offers yet, but I am feeling more confident than I have in a long time. I have been sending out the novel I wrote during Nanowrimo last year, but I spent today working on a query and synopsis for the magic library book that I have worked on since December. It is my favorite thing I have ever written. It took way more work than any of my previous manuscripts, but it was worth every second. My mom and dad are reading it right now. It is set in the area where they grew up, so I am hoping they can tell me if the language and mannerisms are authentic to the place. They both have been complimentary so far. Neither are the gushy type, so I can trust them not to say they like it just because I wrote it.

I'm reading... When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead. It is a lovely book and won a Newberry Award. I dream of Newberry awards. I picked it up rather randomly and am pleasantly surprised to find it is a time-travel novel. I posted a few weeks ago about Bookish Serendipity, and this is one of those occasions. I am also nearing the end of 2 Chronicles in The Message Bible and working my way through a reread of The Hunger Games for book club.

I'm grateful for... a husband who supports me and encourages my writing and my pursuit of publication. He has never once belittled my stories or poems, never made me feel like what I do is less than since it has not produced much money at this point in the journey. Quite the contrary, actually; he seems to think I can be and do even more than I ever hope for myself. I see women complaining about their husbands often (and often with good reason), and I am reminded again and again that I snagged a good man somehow, and I better hang onto him for dear life. Men like Corey seem few and far between in modern day America.

Be Glad You Can't Actually Hear Me Sing

Who are you?

I'm a frightened, fickle person
Fighting, crying, kicking, cursing

-Fiona Apple, Better Version of Me



Are you male or female?

I'm just a girl,
Take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype

-No Doubt, Just a Girl

What place do you love best?

Kentucky
You are the dearest land outside of Heaven to me
Kentucky
I miss your laurels and your redbud trees
When I die, I want to rest upon your graceful mountains so free
For that is where God will look for me

-The Everly Brothers, Kentucky



What do you look like?

Your clothes never wear as well the next day
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
You never seem to run out of things to say
This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looks so sad in photographs
I absolutely love her
When she smiles

-Nine Days, Story of a Girl

What do you want to say to your best friend?

And I wish all the people I love the most
Could gather in one place,
And know each other and love each other well.
And I wish we could all go camping,
And lay beneath the stars,
And have nothing to do and stories to tell.
We'd sit around the campfire
And we'd make each other laugh,
Remembering when...
And you're the first one I'm inviting.
Always know that you're invited, my friend.

-Sara Groves, Every Minute



What do you want to say to the one you love?

You're no longer alone.
We've found a space to name our own.
There aint no need to fret or fuss.
We've got all the strength we need in the shape of us.
And I know you've had it tough.
Your road's been bumpy and rough.
But say goodbye to a world that you once knew.
I have every faith in me and you.

-Ian Britt, The Shape of Us



What do you want to say to the one you hate?

I could say that you were a dirty dog,
but that's an insult to the fleas.

-Patti Rothberg, This One's Mine



What's your best quality?

Every day I write the list
Of reasons why I still believe they do exist
(a thousand beautiful things)
And even though it's hard to see
The glass is full and not half empty
(a thousand beautiful things)

-Annie Lennox, 1000 Beautiful Things



What's your worst quality?

Some folks seem to think I only got one problem,
Can't find nobody as crazy as me.

-Alison Krauss, Crazy as Me



Where do you see yourself in one year?

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had's come true

-Sara Evans, I Could Not Ask for More

What's your secret?

Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years
My anger's violent
But still I'm silent
When tragedy strikes at home
I know this decadence Is shared by millions
Remember you're not alone
Remember you're not alone

-Creed, Wash Away those Years



What is something you like about yourself?

I'm here to re-write this tragedy
One line at a time
Hold on, I'm changing all the scenery
It's okay we'll be fine

-Sara Groves, Rewrite this Tragedy

What does love mean to you?

Love is a gentle word,
Even when your pride is hurt,
Won't turn you away,
Won't bring up yesterday.
When I'm growing tired
And I feel fate is driftin',
I remember love is what I'm working toward.
Love is a heavy kiss,
When you don't deserve it,
It forgives, forgets it,
Never turns it's back on you.

-Meg and Dia, Love Is



What makes you angry?

I can always tell a liar
And I always know a thief
I know 'em like my family
Because brother I’m the chief
I’m a dangerous crusader
Because I need to tell the truth
So I’m turning over tables
In my own living room
Then I might nail indictments up
On every door in town
‘Cause its not right or safe to let your conscience down

-Derek Webb, Nobody Loves Me



What makes you happy?

I used to hide in a party crowd
Bottled up inside
Feeling so left out
Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes
With my frozen smile
And my lighted fuse
Now every time I start to feel like that
I roll my heart out like a welcome mat
Oh watch me go
I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows
That the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world
Is a happy girl

-Martina McBride, Happy Girl



What makes you sad?

And nobody calls her baby,
Nobody says "I love you so,"
Nobody calls her baby,
I guess she'll never know.

-Lost and Found, Baby



How do you feel when you think about your biggest mistake?

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

-Regina Spektor, Samson



Some words to live by...

You can tell someone you love 'em
From the bottom of your heart
And believe that it's the truest thing you've known
And even if you never break the promises you make
The river's gonna keep on rolling on
And if you haven't got a dollar
Not a penny to your name
Somebody's gonna miss you when you're gone
And even if you never find
Just A Little Peace of Mind
The river's gonna keep on rolling on

-Amy Grant, It is Well/The River's Gonna Keep on Rolling

Currently: Marching, Onward and Upward

Current Books: I am reading Mare's War, because I failed miserably at giving up fiction for Lent. It was actually easier the year I gave up all pleasure reading for Lent. So, anyway, Mare's War fell into my hands b/c I just wrote a character who served in the WAC during WWII, and I was interested in the subject. The boys and I are reading the third Harry Potter book. For Homeschool, Haydn and I are nearing the end of Story of the World Volume I and also enjoying a biography of Temple Grandin.

Current Playlist: I asked a bunch of Facebook friends to tell me what songs they listen to when they feel happy, and I have been listening to those one by one.

Current Shame-Inducing Guilty Pleasure: Junk food.

Current Colors: Brights, also gray paired with another color

Current Fetish: nada

Current Food: I just discovered this maple/peanut ice cream from Kroger's Premium line.  So good.

Current Drink: bottled Vanilla Frappe

Current Favorite Favorite: Literary tattoos

Current Wishlist: an agent to represent me, clothes that fit and feel good, someone else to do the cooking, magic housecleaning fairies, etc... I don't want much, right?

Current Needs: a crown on one tooth and a root canal on another.

Current Triumphs: Finished the first round of edits on my latest manuscript. Taking a break before the second round, so I can come to it with fresh eyes.

Current Bane-of-my-Existence: My own impatience and lack of self-discipline

Current Celebrity Crush: Do you watch White Collar? Yum.

Current Indulgence: Above described maple ice cream

Current Mood: Not bad.

Current #1 Blessing: My husband. He did a huge;y wonderful thing for me this week. I love that man more each year we are together.

Current Slang or Saying: Oy!

Current Outfit: the "my Bad" tee Ashley bought for me years ago, jeans, painted TOMs

Current Link: Janet always inspires me. I may do this meme soon.

Current Quote: “Stupid people are dangerous.” Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

Current Photo:  My baby sister is expecting. I can't wait to meet this new niece or nephew.

Sunday Poem: Rock, Peter

How dare I judge

Rock, Peter?

How can I judge him

for saying with his mouth

the very thing I speak

with my actions

everyday?

HT

Trying to Choose Joy

My last post was about choosing joy. I am struggling to do that again today. It isn't a particularly bad day. I was showered and read my Bible and Mary devotional before leaving the house to drop my youngest at school. We are enjoying an audio book in the car. I have been revising the first draft of my newest novel. I even have a seed of an idea for the next novel. (Hint: it involves tornadoes and a homeless person.)

Public school was hard for Haydn. On top of his struggles with academics, kids are so mean ol' Scratch wouldn't want the lot of them. Once those children in his class learned his triggers, they pulled them with startling regularity. I'm sure my son's meltdowns were highly entertaining for the little brats, er, kids.  Over a year later, he is a different kid. I have him almost caught up on math. His handwriting is mostly horrible, but he CAN write neatly in cursive. He seldom does write neatly, but he can. His reading comprehension is amazing. He devours novels like candy. He used to cry over reading when I first brought him home. The boy creates origami sculptures from the Advanced Origami book I ordered online, having moved past all of the cheaper paper folding books I found in stores.

I have every reason to hope that the areas we still struggle in will improve. After all, he has conquered so much in a year's time. Imagine what he will be in a few more years of home education and co-op time with other kids. But, those years on the horizon offer little comfort when we have a bad day, or even a bad hour. When he is crying and calling himself names and insisting he is useless and cannot do anything at all. There is no reasoning with him at those times.

People expect mothers of special needs kids to be completely unselfish and self-sacrificing. I am supposed to have infinite patience and compassion. Also, I am not supposed to be hurt. I should know that he doesn't intend to make me feel like the stupid useless member of the pair, but he does make me feel that way, and knowing he doesn't mean to isn't really helpful.

Feelings get hurt. Moms cry too. Days can be hard.

And that's okay. Having a rough time with math today is fine. The world won't stop spinning, and we aren't set back a year in our progress. Tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it... not yet anyway. There is hope on the horizon, but sometimes clouds block the view, and you just have to take a deep breath and keep going forward. Eventually, those clouds WILL clear, and the sun will shine on you.

So, today I again, I am choosing joy... or trying to choose joy at the very least.

HT

Choosing Joy Today

The downside to this beautiful weather? I am half asleep but cannot nap while the boys are outside, and of course they will be outside, due to this beautiful weather. So, being a good mommy, though also a rather groggy one, I am downstairs where I can see Haydn out about a million windows. He's practicing his pitching skills. David is working on spelling homework at the kitchen table.

In the spirit of my current read, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I am thinking about how blessed I am today. I'm tired from good things. The boys and I had a lovely weekend despite Corey having to be out of town. Normally, Daddy leaving town is a major trigger for my Aspie son, and that leaves me walking around half dead...

Allow me to pause here and say my idyllic afternoon just changed. My youngest started making strange noises with his mouth. I glanced at him meaningfully, as in, "Please stop." His response was to cross his eyes at me. Crossing his eyes is a David version of rolling one's eyes. Having just been told less than 24 hours prior that crossing his eyes at me ever again would mean punishment, I had no choice. I hate when my kids leave me no choice but to punish them when I am in the middle of actually enjoying their company. He was told to write a page of "I will not cross my eyes at Mom," and is now completing homework in his bedroom so I do not have to hear him crying hysterically. He is seven and going through a lovely phase where every response is that of a drama queen. If you don't think a little boy can be a drama queen, I will happily introduce you to MY little boys. Trust me, it is an entirely possible feat.

Still, it's a pretty day. I have a good book to read. My older son is excitedly changing into an old pair of baseball pants to play in, and my younger son will get over himself and join the fun before too long. A couple of agents have requested the first few pages of my last novel, and I am so near the end of my current novel I can taste the epilogue already. My family in Kentucky survived the storm, though many families were not so lucky. My husband is slowly but surely recovering from his horrid bout with pneumonia. A simple med adjust kicked me out of the depressive cycle I was caught in a few weeks ago, and I am choosing joy today. I am choosing sunshine and spring breezes.

Happy Monday to you!

HT